WrestleMania 9 is in the books. What happened at the WWE’s annual biggest show of the year?
Let’s find out. It’s time once again to hop into the time machine…..
The Time Machine: Monday Night RAW – Episode 11
We are ringside with Vince McMahon and “Macho Man” Randy Savage. And ladies and gentlemen, Rob Bartlett is NOT HERE! WOOO HOOO!!!! Vince informs us that it was a sweet WrestleMania yesterday, but he doesn’t let us know any of the results. This was back when they had things like WrestleMania replays on PPV that the WWE relied heavily on financially.
Bam Bam Bigelow
Vince and Savage let us know that Hulk Hogan won the WWE World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania 9 last night. Color me surprised. Anyway, Bigelow and Virgil lock-up and Virgil gets a wrist lock on Bigelow. Bigelow throws Virgil into the ropes, but Virgil jumps over Bigelow and dropkicks him. Virgil grabs the wrist lock again. Bigelow throws him off once more and tries to splash him in the corner, but Virgil moves. Virgil gets the wrist lock on again. Bigelow throws Virgil off again and gives him a head butt. Now a power slam by Bigelow. Bigelow goes for a headbutt, but Virgil moves. Virgil goes for the roll-up pin, but only gets a two-count. Virgil jumps on Bigelow’s back and Bigelow just drops down squashing him. Bigelow flips Virgil over and applies a chin lock. Bigelow continues beating on Virgil in the corner, but Virgil is trying to fight back. Bigelow makes sure that doesn’t happen with a big right. Bigelow has some kind of arm submission on Virgil and Virgil almost breaks it, but Bigelow hits him and he goes down. Another head butt from Bigelow and Virgil goes down and Bigelow applies the chin lock again. Virgil once again tries fighting back, but Bigelow puts him down with a head butt. Bigelow has a bear hug on now and Virgil is going out once more. Virgil’s arm goes down twice, but not a third time. Virgil is hulking up, and Bigelow goes for the eye poke. He throws Virgil into the corner and charges him, but Virgil hits him with a boot to the face. Virgil flies off the second rope and heats a weak looking clothesline. Now he goes to the top rope and hits a weak looking dropkick. He goes for the cover. 1…..2…..NOPE! They both get up and Virgil starts hitting Bigelow with some left and rights. A big forearm sends Bigelow into the corner. Bigelow grabs Virgil though and whips him into the other corner. Virgil jumps over Bigelow runs to the other side of the ring where he launches off the top with a cross body. Bigelow moves and just throws him down. A big clothesline puts Virgil down. Bigelow goes to the top rope. FLYING HEADBUTT!!! 1….2…..3! Let’s go home.
Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow via Flying Headbutt
It’s time for a very important debut on Monday Night RAW…..
This is Jerry Lawler’s debut on Monday Night RAW! The first of many appearances I might add. Lawler wants the microphone before he wrestles:
Jerry Lawler: First of all, let me say something to each and everyone of you imbecilic idiots. I’am the “King of Wrestling” and I’m used to being treated with respect. When I walk down that aisle, you idiots should bow down and kiss my feet. (Crowd starts chanting “Burger King”) If I hear one more of you idiots say “Burger King”, I’m outta here. You hear what I said? If I hear them say it one more time I’m outta here. I mean it. I’m not going to wrestle it if you keep that up. That’s it. That’s it. (Lawler walks to the back)
You idiots. You just ruined Jerry Lawler’s debut. I always hated the “Burger King” chant anyways because it’s so juvenile. Hey, look at that! We are now being joined by “Mean” Gene Okerlund who is with a very pissed off Yokozuna who held the WWE Title for about 3 minutes at WrestleMania 9 yesterday….
“Mean” Gene Okerlund: Mr. Fuji. Filing a formal protest with World Wrestling Federation President Jack Tunney on behalf of Yokozuna. Claiming he should still be the World Wrestling Federation champion not withstanding his defeat of Bret “The Hitman” Hart. You claim there was never an official contract between Hulk Hogan and Yokozuna. You state that the match was never even sanctioned. Jack Tunney, you’ve got a tough decision to make.
Bob Backlund continues to get a crap ton of TV time on RAW. He must have been moving the ratings back then. Backlund goes for a handshake with Kimchee, but he’s not having it. They go to lock-up and Backlund ducks and does his stupid little dance he does every time. And they do the same thing again because it was so funny the first time. Finally they lock-up and Backlund backs him up into the corner. Kimchee runs at Backlund and now they are doing the thing where Backlund just continuously sweeps his leg and trips him. Kimchee eventually runs out of the ring though. Backlund goes after him, but Kimchee punches him. A body slam to Backlund now followed by another one. Kimchee goes for a suplex, but Backlund counters out of it. Kimchee nails him in the face with an elbow though. Kimchee grabs Backlund’s legs and hits him in the nuts. He goes for the cover, but only gets a two-count. Kimchee gets up and applies a chin lock to Backlund. Backlund starts fighting out and throws Kimchee off. He hits him with a head butt to the mid-section and whips him into the ropes. Kimchee hits a sunset flip though and gets a pin on Backlund. He only gets a one-count after Backlund kicks him in the head. Kimchee gets up and slams his head against the mat. Kimchee goes for another cover but only gets a one-count again. He gets up and applies the chin lock again. Backlund finally gets up and drops Kimchee with a suplex. Both guys are down now. Kimchee goes for an elbow, but Backlund moves. He gets up and hip tosses Kimchee. A body slam to Kimchee, but he kicks Backlund off of him. He whips Backlund into the ropes, but Backlund jumps over him. Kimchee tries to sunset flip Backlund, but Bobby grabs his legs and pins him with a bridge instead. 1…..2….3! Sorry Kimchee, you just don’t have it.
Winner: Bob Backlund via bridge pin
We are back and we are smack dab in the middle of a match for some reason. Whoever runs the timing on this show should be fired. Rob Bartlett is apparently on the table and is still in Las Vegas because he has no money. Maybe we will never see him again? Let’s hope so. Demento grabs Brunzell’s arm, but Brunzell flips it around. Demento shoves him into the corner. They lock-up gain and Brunzell has a wrist lock now. Demento counters and has a wrist lock, but Brunzell gets it back. IT’S THE BATTLE OF THE WRIST LOCK! The ref has had enough and breaks it up. They lock-up again and go against the ropes. Demento starts hammering Brunzell with some shots. Brunzell gets Demento in a roll-up pin and gets a two count. They lock-up once more and end up in the ropes again. Demento whips him to the other side of the ring and goes for a back body drop, but Brunzell gets the sunset flip and the pin. 1….2….kick out! Demento immediately gets up and starts hammering on Brunzell again. He flips Brunzell over by his head and then drops a leg drop on him. Uh oh. Demento is hearing voices in his head now. Brunzell hits Demento in the mid-section, but he no-sells it. He flips his head over again and starts dropping elbows on Brunzell. A pin gets a two-count, but that’s it. Demento throws Brunzell into the corner and starts beating on him. Demento takes Brunzell to the other corner and tries smashing his head against the turnbuckle, but Brunzell counters with some shots of his own. He throws Demento into the turnbuckle. An atomic drop by Brunzell followed by a big dropkick. Brunzell goes for the pin, but Demento gets his foot on the rope. Brunzell tries to whip Demento into the ropes, but Demento counters with a neck breaker. He drops a knee on Brunzell’s face and pins him. 1…..2…..3! And that’s all she wrote.
Winner: Damian Demento via a knee to the face
Jerry “The King” Lawler makes his way out to the ring again and the crowd is once again chanting “Burger King”. Lawler tells the referee to tell them to shut up, but they don’t and he just walks to the back again.
Now we get a WrestleMania recap. They don’t really show much or mention anything outside of a bunch of still pictures. Things have certainly changed from those days. It used to be a struggle to be a WWF fan before the Internet was existed…trust me.
The Beverly Brothers
The Steiner Brothers
Scott is going to start things off against Beau Beverly. They lock-up and both go down. Beau says Scott pulled his hair, but no one saw it happen. Another lock-up and Scott gets a wrist lock on and takes Beau down. Beau is once again complaining about a hair pull. Scott asks the crowd if he’s pulling the hair and the crowd responds positively. They lock-up again and Scott gets a headlock on Beau. Beau gets whipped into the ropes and Scott knocks him down with a shoulder block. Scott goes for a hip toss, but Beau counters and pulls Scott down by his hair. Beau then looks over and taunts Rick and continues stomping on Scott. Beau whips Scott into the ropes, but Scott grabs him and hits him with a double underhook suplex. Beau is begging for mercy and crawls to the ropes and tags in Blake. Scott makes the tag to Rick as well. Rick runs around the ring and locks-up with Blake. He charges Blake into the corner, but Blake reverses it and starts hammering on Rick. He whips Rick into the ropes and hits him with a power slam. He whips him into the ropes again and goes for a clothesline, but Rick ducks and hits Blake with a power slam of his own. Rick picks up Blake and tags Scott back in. Scott throws Blake into the ropes and nails him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Scott tries to whip Blake into the ropes but Blake counters and throws Scott right into Beau who hits him with a kick to the back. Rick comes in and distracts the ref and now it’s a double team by the Beverly Brothers. Blake tags Beau in and Beau goes to the top rope and hits Scott with an axe handle to the back. He picks Scott up again and nails a back breaker. A pin gets a two-count. And now it’s time to take a break.
We are back and Blake Beverly has Scott in a chin lock. Beau comes in and distracts the ref while Scott makes the tag, but the ref doesn’t see it. The Beverly Brothers double-team Scott while the ref is trying to get Rick out of the ring. Beau Beverly continues to stomp on Scott Steiner in the corner and now they are double-teaming him once again. Beau goes for the pin and gets a two count again. He gets up and makes the tag to Blake. Blake picks up Scott in a bear hug now. Scott finally breaks out and runs against the ropes, but Blake kicks him in the mid-section. Blake goes for a suplex, but Scott counter with a suplex of his own. Blake grabs Scott’s legs and pulls him back and makes the tag to Beau. Beau runs in and starts attacking Scott. He goes for a leg drop, but it misses. He punches Beau in the mid-section and starts hitting him with some shots. He whips Beau into the ropes and nails a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Both men are down. Beau makes the tag to Blake and Scott finally makes the tag to Rick! Rick comes in and starts clearing house. Back body drop to Beau followed by a big clothesline. He goes for the cover, but Blake breaks it up. Blake throws Rick to the outside of the ring. Scott is back in the ring and goes after Blake. The Beverly Brothers are double-teaming Scott again. They end up whiffing on a double-team move though and now Rick is back in the ring. Scott throws Blake into the ropes and hits him with a FRANKENSTEINER! 1……2…..3!!! That’s a wrap.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers
Jerry “The King” Lawler
Apparently Jim Powers is sick of waiting and comes out of the locker room and attacks Jerry Lawler. He throws Lawler into the turnbuckle post and throws him into the ring. He goes to the top rope and nails him with a big punch. Lawler goes into the corner and Powers whips him into the other corner and hits him with a big clothesline. Lawler goes to the outside and he’s pissed. Powers gets the crowd to chant “Burger King” at Lawler again. Lawler gets back in the ring and they lock-up once more. Lawler gets a head lock on Powers, but that doesn’t last long as Powers hit him with a hip toss. Big power slam by Powers now. Lawler rolls to the outside of the ring again as the crowd is still chanting “Burger King”. Lawler walks over and starts yelling at Savage who is doing commentary. He finally gets back in the ring. They lock-up and Lawler backs Powers up into the corner. He tries to punch him, but Powers moves and decks Lawler with a punch of his own. They lock-up once more and Lawler backs him up into the ropes. He whips Lawler into the ropes and hits him with a back body drop. He goes for a dropkick on Lawler, but Lawler avoids it and Powers goes down. Lawler is telling Powers to “kiss his feet” and starts punching his face. He slams Powers head into the turnbuckle and starts choking him. He whips Powers into the ropes and hits him with a back elbow and drops a fist on his face. Once again he starts talking crap to Savage. Lawler slams Powers’ head into the turnbuckle and whips him into the other one. He goes for a punch, but Powers stick his foot up and kicks Lawler in the face and starts slamming his head against the turnbuckle. He whips Lawler into the ropes and knocks him down. He picks him up and gets another back body drop on Lawler. He goes for another one, but Lawler hits him behind the head with an elbow. PILEDRIVER BY LAWLER! 1…..2….3! And Lawler may have had a handful of tights as well. Oh well. It’s all about how you get the win that matters.
Winner: Jerry “The King” Lawler via Piledriver
Jerry Lawler is still in the ring. Now he’s making his way over to the announce table. Maybe he just wants to take Savage’s job as color commentator on Monday Night RAW?
Vince McMahon: We couldn’t help overhear while you were having your match there, a few comments directed towards the “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
Jerry Lawler: You know, you, “Macho Man”, and all the rest of this scum from the Rotten Apple are right where you belong. Sitting nice and comfortable in a little chair watching the greatest wrestler in the world in the ring. It’s easy for all of you to run your mouths when you’re sitting in your little seat. All you gutless wonders. The only things that’s athletic about any of you is your feet. And that goes for you to “Macho Man”. You don’t have the guts to get in the ring with the real king, you know what I’m saying?
And that’s a wrap for this week folks. Another week. Another disappointing Monday Night RAW. I swear, at some point these shows are going to start to get awesome. When will that be?