The Time Machine: Monday Night RAW – Episode 10

Here we are at the 10th episode of one of the most revolutionary television shows of all-time, WWE Monday Night RAW. So far, not a whole lot has happened over the course of the first 10 weeks, unless you consider Hulk Hogan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s return to be a big thing. At the time it probably was, but in hindsight, we all know how crappy his return ends up. But still, the tide has to turn at some point right? We are going to get an absolutely amazing episode of RAW one of these days.

Will it be this week? Let’s find out……

 

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The Time Machine: Monday Night RAW – Episode 10

 

 

We are BACK at the Manhattan Center this week and everything is back to normal as Vince McMahon is ringside with “Macho Man” Randy Savage and Rob “Yes, I’m still working here” Bartlett. What a trio man.

Match #1:

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Repo Man & Damian Demento

vs.

The Bushwackers

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I hate The Bushwackers. Repo Man was a focal point of Monday Night RAW a few weeks back that involved a feud with “Macho Man” Randy Savage. A few weeks later and he’s a jobber teaming up with Damian Demento in the opening segment of RAW and doesn’t even get an introduction. Who did he piss off? And what was the whole point of that Savage feud anyway? The Bushwackers decide not to use the entrance way and decide to come through the fans instead. Luke and Butch are licking people’s heads on the way to the ring which is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING if you ask me. “Hey, I know we’ve never met before….but can I lick your head?” Yuck. They get in the ring and proceed to make out with the overweight ring card girl because the Bushwackers just don’t give a fuck. The match finally starts with Butch and Damian Demento. I’m expecting a five-star classic here. The two lock-up and Demento backs Butch up into the corner. Butch counters and puts Demento in the corner and starts biting his ass. Yes, BITING HIS ASS! Repo Man comes in as does Luke and Luke proceeds to bite Repo Man’s ass. WHAT A MOVE! The Bushwackers gets Repo and Demento sandwiched in the corner. They whip Repo into the other corner and then throw Demento into him. They grab Repo and throw him into Demento again. Repo turns around and gets a double-clothesline for his troubles while the Bushwackers dance around the ring. This is a disaster already. Demento finally gets back in the ring and has a face-off with Luke. Repo Man comes up from behind and nails Luke and they start double-teaming him. Repo picks Luke up and tosses him into the corner. Butch comes in to help, but the ref stops him. Now Demento gets in the ring and the double-team is on. Demento and Repo are stomping on Luke now. Demento is choking Luke with the rope now. Demento starts hammering on Luke in the corner and is biting his face. Big shoulder block to Luke and he goes down. Demento drops a leg drop onto Luke’s nuts now and tags in Repo. Repo comes in and starts pounding away on Luke. He grabs Luke in a headlock and tags Demento back in. Demento whips Luke into the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Luke ducks and knocks Demento down…..and the crowd doesn’t give two shits. Pretty sure they were supposed to pop for that. Demento makes the tag to Repo, while Luke gets the hot tag to Butch and still, the crowd doesn’t care. Butch hits Repo with the eye poke and goes off the ropes with a clothesline. He knocks Demento down with a clothesline as well. He then knocks their noggins together as Repo rolls outside. Luke gets back in the ring and they go for a double-clothesline on Demento, but he ducks and Repo grabs the Bushwacker’s legs and Butch goes down. Repo grabs Luke and distracts him while Demento runs up behind and hits him. Demento starts stomping on both the Bushwackers. Demento picks Butch up to slam him, but Luke hits Butch and Butch falls right on top of Demento for the pin. The ref doesn’t see it though. Repo runs back in and goes for an elbow drop on Butch, but he moves and Repo nails Demento instead. BATTERING RAM TO REPO MAN! Butch gets the pin. 1……2……3! THANK GOD THAT’S OVER! What a stupid match with a stupid result.

Winners: The Bushwackers via the Battering Ram

(COMMERCIAL TIME)

Match #2:

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Tatanka

vs.

Reno Riggins

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Reno Riggins gives absolutely no fucks and just starts attacking Tatanka from behind with punches. He whips him into the ropes, but Tatanka just leaps over him and starts chopping the shit out of him. He follows that up with a big back body drop that sends Riggins flying. Riggins kicks Tatanka in the mid-section and whips him into the ropes again and puts on a sleeper hold. Tatanka quickly breaks it though. Atomic drop to Riggins followed by some fancy flips and Tatanka locks on an arm bar submission. Riggins backs Tatanka up into the corner and starts chopping him. He starts shouting to the camera and that pisses Tatanka off as he starts chopping Riggins now. He whips Riggins into the corner, but Riggins counters and Tatanka goes into the corner. Tatanka flips himself off the turnbuckle though, but Riggins ducks and Tatanka hits the mat. Riggins gets up and starts pounding away on Tatanka and choking him. He picks Tatanka up and throws him into the turnbuckle. You know what that does? It pisses Tatanka off as he starts dancing around the ring. Riggins continues to hit him, but Tatanka isn’t feeling it. Chop to Riggins! Another chop followed by an even bigger one that sends Riggins down. Powerslam to Riggins now! Tatanka picks him up and SAMOAN DROP TO RIGGINS! 1……2……3! Tatanka is still undefeated! Suck it Goldberg.

Winner: Tatanka via Samoan Drop

And ladies and gentlemen. In a historic move, we have the VERY FIRST person to get inducted into the WWE Hall-Of-Fame! And that person is none other than WWE legend….Andre The Giant!

Not all Hall-Of-Fame inductions have been well-deserved, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that Andre’s was 100% rightfully deserved.

(COMMERCIAL TIME)

Match #3:

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Money Incorporated

vs.

Scott Prince & Jeff Armstrong

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I.R.S. lets us know that we are all a bunch of tax cheats, because he has to do that before every match. It’s called “heel heat” my friends. DiBiase gets things started off against Prince (I’m just guessing here). They lock-up and DiBiase gets an arm lock followed up by a headlock. Prince whips DiBiase into the ropes, but DiBiase nails him with a shoulder block. DiBiase runs into the ropes again and Prince ducks, but he gets up and DiBiase just throws him down. DiBiase picks him up and hits him with a knee and clotheslines his ass out of the ring. I.R.S. starts beating on him on the outside and throws him back into the ring. DiBiase makes the tag and they start double-teaming Prince. Irwin throws him into the corner and he finally makes the tag. Armstrong comes in and Irwin instantly gives him a headlock followed by a punch. Suplex to Armstrong now. Irwin goes off the ropes and hits an elbow. He picks up Armstrong and tags in DiBiase. He holds Armstrong while DiBiase kicks him. DiBiase throws him into the ropes and hits him with an elbow and a chop. He knocks Armstrong’s head into the turnbuckle and starts chopping him. DiBiase applies a headlock and tags Irwin back in. Double-clothesline to Armstrong. Irwin kicks him and tags DiBiase back in. DiBiase whips him into the ropes and nails a power slam. DiBiase picks him up and tags Irwin again. WRITE OFF TO ARMSTRONG! 1….2…..3! That’s all she wrote.

Winners: Money Incorporated via the Write Off

“Mean” Gene Okerlund is back with the WrestleMania 9 report which is just a few short weeks away. OMG I CAN’T WAIT! Here is the card so far:

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-Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna (for the WWE title)

-The Mega Maniacs vs. Money Incorporated (for the WWE tag team title)

-The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Plus, much much more and a BIG GIANT TOGA PARTY! WRESTLEMANIA 9 IS GOING TO BE THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!!

(COMMERCIAL TIME)

Main Event:

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Doink The Clown

vs.

Kamala

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Now this my friends is what I call wrestling. Doink vs. Kamala? Yes please. Doink comes down with shorter hair and looks even more evil than normal. Doink is a good sport though and he has a present for Kamala. Kamala smiles and tries to take the present, but Doink pulls it away and changes his mind. Well, that’s rude. Doink puts the present in a corner and then attacks Kamala. He takes him down and drops an elbow. He grabs his arm and applies an arm bar and turns it into an arm and head submission. Doink takes Kamala down again and drops an elbow again. He grabs Kamala’s arm and applies a wrist lock this time. Kamala eventually starts delivering some chops to Doink. Doink pokes him in the eye and takes him down again though. Doink grabs Kamala and applies a head and arm submission once more and turns that into an arm bar. The guy might be a clown, but he knows his stretching holds, let’s give him that. Kamala finally throws Doink off of his arm and starts chopping him. He whips Doink into the turnbuckle and hits him with a big splash. Kamala is attacking Doink and we are now heading for a break.

(COMMERCIAL TIME)

We are back and Doink is stomping away on Kamala now. Kamala gets up and starts chopping Doink again though. He chops him right out of the ring. Kamala goes after Doink while Doink just runs around the ring. Doink grabs his present and hands it to Kamala. Kamala grabs it and starts unwrapping it. Meanwhile, Doink gets back in the ring and Kamala is counted out. Doink is laughing hysterically, but Kamala doesn’t care. He wants his present damn it. Unfortunately the present is empty and Kamala is PISSED! He starts chasing Doink, but Doink goes under the ring. Kamala goes under the ring to chase him, but Doink comes out on the other side. He grabs a chair and starts hitting the ring apron once Kamala starts making his way out. Kamala eventually crawls out on the other side of the ring behind Doink. He nails him from behind. Kamala grabs the chair and starts chasing Doink to the back. This is going to be an AWESOME feud!

Winner: Doink The Clown via count-out

(COMMERCIAL TIME)

We are back at ringside and Rob Bartlett is now surrounded by all the bigger-less-attractive RAW girls known as the “Rob Bartlett Fan Club”. Bartlett takes this opportunity to make fun of them and then he gets up and makes out with one of them. This was fucking stupid.

Next week’s episode of RAW is the one right after WrestleMania 9. Will it be better than this crap fest? We can sure hope so.

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