“Let me tell you how you’re feeling.” Those are the infamous words of Tito Ortiz as he tried his hand at post-fight interviews during the days of Affliction. It’s also the name of this column, which doubles as a weekly NFL recap and look ahead. This is how fans should be about their team following the week and heading into next week. So, let me tell you how you’re feeling.
Arizona Cardinals: Misery.
Atlanta Falcons: Win the division in Carolina? What could go wrong?
Baltimore Ravens: Nervous for Christmas.
Buffalo Bills: What’s the point?
Carolina Panthers: Sipping tea.
Chicago Bears: Gave up a long time ago.
Cincinnati Bengals: Karma. And this.
Cleveland Browns: TWO MORE GAMES!
Dallas Cowboys: Don’t doubt Dak.
Denver Broncos: Hitting yourself.
Detroit Lions: Here we go.
Green Bay Packers: Relaxed.
Houston Texans: Wondering how you can get paid $72 million to sit on the bench.
Indianapolis Colts: Where was this last week?
Jacksonville Jaguars: Writing letters begging management not to hire Jeff Fisher.
Kansas City Chiefs: Got that out of your system, Andy?
Los Angeles Rams: Applying to become the next head coach.
Miami Dolphins: Wondering how much trade value Ryan Tannehill has.
Minnesota Vikings: Confused, baffled, dumbfounded.
New England Patriots: Bored.
New Orleans Saints: Sean Payton is worth a a high end defensive player, right?
New York Giants: Patient.
New York Jets: Miserable.
Oakland Raiders: Wondering how long these fourth quarter comebacks can last.
Philadelphia Eagles: Wondering where it all went wrong.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Excited for Christmas.
San Diego Chargers: Football?
San Francisco 49ers: If we trade for Sean Payton and have Sean Payton and Chip Kelly our offense would have to average 100 points per game.
Seattle Seahawks: Lurking.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Not quite ready for prime time.
Tennessee Titans: We…could…do….this.
Washington Redskins: Pointing fingers.