Cook’s NFL Picks: Week 13!

Hello friends! I’ll admit I’m more interested in my fantasy teams at this point of the season. I’m a Bengals fan and they’re not doing anything. What about it? If you’re in the same position that I am, you should listen to the Ocho Fantasy Football Podcast over on offtheteam.com and get yourself right for the end of the regular season! It’s good times!

Sunday, December 4

Denver (-3.5) at Jacksonville

There was a time when I would have thought about picking the Jaguars against some of the better teams of the league because they might cover in garbage time. Not this week. Blake Bortles against the Broncos defense could get pretty ugly, and the Jags don’t have a running game to bail him out. I’m a little worried about this Paxton Lynch business, but it’s the Jaguars so I can’t be too worried about it.

Kansas City at Atlanta (-4.5)

The Chiefs let Trevor Siemian throw for over 360 yards on Sunday night. I shudder to think how many yards Matt Ryan can throw for this Sunday in the Georgia Dome. It’s time to start buying into the Falcons if, like me, you were reticent to do so due to their recent history. They should be able to win their division and get at least one playoff home game, if they can get more than that they could be a threat in the NFC.

Houston at Green Bay (-6.5)

The Texans sure made me look silly last week. One of these days I’ll remember that the only teams they can beat on a regular basis are the AFC South teams & the Cincinnati Bengals. Everybody else has a pretty good shot at them. I have no idea if the Packers are back on the right track or not based on beating Philly pretty good Monday night, but I like them at home against a middling Houston team.

Philadelphia at Cincinnati (-1)

The Eagles have one road victory to their credit in 2016, in Week 2 over the hapless Chicago Bears. They’ve gone 2-6 since their bye in Week 4 and are circling the drain of irrelevance after getting off to a 3-0 start and getting people on board the Wentz Wagon. Right there with them are my sorry, no-account Bengals that haven’t won a game since beating the pathetic Cleveland Browns on October 23. A.J. Green is nowhere to be found and neither is the rest of the offense. Two sorry teams going at it here for sure.

WHAT A GAME!

I imagine I’ll have this crap on in the background but won’t be paying attention to a second of it. I’ll take the Eagles because when in doubt I go against the Bengals. I’m not a huge fan of anything Philadelphia has done lately (You seen the rest of their sports teams? Woof!), but Cincy has a tendency of bringing the best out of some pretty poor players.

Detroit at New Orleans (-6)

Not a ton of respect for the current NFC North leaders here, eh? The Saints have a ton of offense and can score a ton of points, but they also have the ability to give up a ton of points. I think Matt Stafford and his receivers can at least keep the Lions close in this one. They didn’t look great against the Vikings on Thanksgiving, but the Vikings actually have a defense. So I can’t hold that against them.

San Francisco at Chicago (-1.5)

dontcare

I guess give me the Bears because Matt Barkley didn’t look like complete garbage last week? Whatever. I feel kinda bad for my Bears fan peeps, as I know all too well the monotony of seeing my useless team go up against another useless team and only hanging in through a complete garbage game because there’s a chance they might actually win for once. But then I realize most of them are either Cubs or Cardinals fans and my sympathy dwindles to nil.

Los Angeles at New England (-13)

The Patriots haven’t looked great lately, but I have no reason to believe that the Rams can do anything about it. Maybe if Eric Dickerson gets to play.

Miami at Baltimore (-3.5)

Last year these teams had a 15-13 game in Baltimore and I can see this one going the same way. The Ravens haven’t been able to get much of anything going on offense lately and the Dolphins are riding the back of Jay Ajayi to a six-game winning streak, so I’m rolling with the underdog here.

Buffalo at Oakland (-3)

Sammy Watkins will be back this week. Which is awesome news for Buffalo because the rest of their wide receiving corps may be out with a variety of injuries. I see the Raiders continuing their winning ways here as long as Derek Carr’s pinky is great.

Tampa Bay at San Diego (-3.5)

Don’t look now, but the Buccaneers have won three straight games and are coming off of wins over two of the NFL’s best teams. That means it’s time for them to lay an egg in San Diego, right? Probably. I have no idea how the Chargers do it, but we always underestimate them as they make their way to 8 wins. Unfortunately that’s only good enough for 4th place in the AFC West this season.

Washington at Arizona (-2.5)

I don’t trust the Cardinals against anybody at this point, not even a Washington team that usually gets blown out in these types of situations. The smart guys don’t like Kirk Cousins as much as I do, but I think everybody agrees that Carson Palmer ain’t doing nothing of value this season.

NY Giants at Pittsburgh (-6)

I like the Steelers in this one. I’d prefer not to, but the Giants are going to have a tough time keeping up with them on the scoreboard, especially if they make mistakes against that opportunistic Pittsburgh defense. We’re at that time of the year where the Steelers are really good, folks.

Carolina at Seattle (-7)

The Panthers continue their West Coast trip up north in Seattle against a Seahawk team that screwed the pooch last week in Tampa Bay. I still have no idea what happened there, but I expect Seattle to come out strong in this game in response. The Seahawks are nearly unbeatable at home in prime time, and Cam Newton isn’t going to be enough to carry the Panthers in that environment.

Monday, December 5

Indianapolis (-2) at NY Jets

Andrew Luck looks like he’ll be ready to go on Monday night. Assuming that, the Colts seem like the pick against a Jets team that can be froggy sometimes but can’t match Indy on offense.

bluto-chug-o

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