College Football Scoreboard: Week 2

Week two of College Football Saturday is in the books and now it’s time to go back and take a look at all the action from the top 25 teams in college football using wacky and stupid gifs for the games that really don’t matter. A good time is had by all (except the teams that lose of course)…..

 

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(1) Alabama: 38          Western Kentucky: 10

Alabama did what they do once again and that’s beat teams they are supposed to destroy. The big story here was the “altercation” that happened between Alabama head coach Nick Saban and offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin. Towards the end of the game, Saban gave Kiffin an ass-chewing that would cause most adult males to wet themselves in fear. After the game, Saban and Kiffin insisted everything was peachy and keen and you know what? It looks like they’re right….

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(2) Florida State: 52          Charleston-Southern: 8

MOOD IN TALLAHASSEE:

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(3) Michigan: 51          UCF: 10

This game was so boring, it had Jim Harbaugh out here eating boogers y’all….

Can we get this guy a meaningful football game to coach before he gains 30 pounds on body waste and fluids?


(4) Ohio State: 48          Tulsa: 3

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(5) Houston: 42          Lamar: 0

And the Houston Cougars’ dream to become the first non-Power 5 conference team to get a playoff spot continues. Houston sure looks and feels the part once again, but it’s hard to really get a feel for a team that destroys a college football team that is named after your neighbor. AM I RIGHT? Either way, the Cougs keep dancing towards an undefeated season….

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(6) Clemson: 30          Troy: 24

This was extremely too close for comfort Clemson. Didn’t we learn a lesson after last season? After all those years of “Clemsoning” your season away, it seemed like Dabo Swinney and company finally put that horrible adjective in the rear-view mirror. Then yesterday’s game happened. Troy wasn’t supposed to give the Clemson Tigers a fight, but they sure did as they pushed Clemson the entire game. I don’t know what’s going on with DeShaun Watson at the moment, but he doesn’t look like a sure-fire first overall pick at the moment, which some people had him pegged as. When you play a team like Troy who has little-to-no players that will be playing football on Sunday, you expect a guy like Watson to light them up. Watson ended the game completing about 50% of his passes and finishing the game with a QBR rating of 32.6!  Yes, it’s officially panic time in Clemson. These guys don’t look like they are going to contend in the ACC at the moment, but maybe they are just experiencing some growing pains after last year’s miracle season?


(9) Washington: 59          Idaho: 10

In the “Battle Of the States in the Pacific Northwest That No One Cares About” (yes, that’s a long title for a football rivalry, I know), the Washington Huskies absolutely destroyed the Idaho Vandals.

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(10) Louisville: 62          Syracuse: 28

Lamar Jackson has been a man among boys so far this year. The Louisville QB has been one of the most entertaining players to watch so far, as he’s quietly putting together a nice Heisman-type season. We are really going to get a feel for how good he is next week when the Florida State Seminoles come into town though. That game is really going to make-or-break Louisville’s season. If the Cardinals can upset the Seminoles, that would set them up nicely to sneak into the playoffs. They still have two massive games left on their schedule (@ Clemson and @ Houston) so it’s far from a sure thing that these guys can go undefeated, but as of this moment…they look like one of the best teams in the country.


(11) Texas: 41          UTEP: 7

My face when people tell me they still aren’t impressed with what Charlie Strong and these guys have accomplished so far this season….

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We still have a lot of football left to play, but the Longhorns are for real people. HOOK ‘EM!!!


(12) Tennessee: 45          Virginia Tech: 24

After getting pushed to the limit last week by Appalachian State, people were selling their Tennessee stock at a rapid pace and it was completely understandable. A team with playoff aspirations like the Vols shouldn’t be struggling with teams like Appalachian State. People were jumping off the wagon so fast that some even insisted that the Volunteers would struggle with the Hokies at the ol’ race track in Bristol this weekend. Not so fast my friend. Even though Tennessee started the game off a little slow, they got the car started in the second-quarter and hit the road and never looked back. Something tells me those people who were selling their stock last week will be buying it back up real quick-like. Even though Virginia Tech may not be a “world-beater” or anything, they are still an extremely well-coached team who is limited on offense. Even though they lost this game, Hokies fans should be excited for what the future holds under Justin Fuente.


(13) Wisconsin: 54          Akron: 10

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(14) Texas A&M: 67          Prairie View: 0

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(15) Oregon: 44          Virginia: 26

This Oregon team sure looks like a different team when they have a competent quarterback, don’t they? Last year’s Duck team suffered all-year long from horrendous QB play and injuries at the most important position on the team. With new transfer QB Dakota Prukop in town, the Ducks look like the real deal on offense again and it’s beautiful. If Prukop can continue to play at this level, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to see the Ducks once again contend for the PAC-12 title. There are still plenty of questions about the defense though and there’s a huge test coming up next week. Oregon travels to Nebraska in what could end up being a playoff eliminator for both teams. The Nebraska offense has been on point so far this season and this will be a big test for Brady Hoke and the Oregon defense. If thing don’t go well for the Ducks, some Oregon fans are sure to get that “FIRE HELFRICH” bandwagon going again.


(16) Iowa: 42          Iowa State: 3

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Thankfully for this guy….they did. Then again, they do most years. Couldn’t this idiot have come up with a better tattoo or am I giving the state of Iowa extremely too much credit?


(17) Georgia: 26          Nicholls: 24

WHAT.THE.HELL.GEORGIA? Talk about way too close for comfort for my taste. Kirby Smart and his crew escaped NICHOLLS by the skin of their teeth. Can you imagine what would’ve happened had the Bulldogs lost this game? Even though they won, I’m still selling my Bulldogs stock faster than you can say “Mark Richt”. Look out next weekend gamblers. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Georgia get upset by the Missouri Tigers and that could be your chance to make some serious dough.


(18) Miami: 38          Florida Atlantic: 10

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(19) Florida: 45          Kentucky: 7

After the first two weeks of the college football season, the Florida Gators have quietly put together the best two games a team possibly could. They’ve outscored their opponents 69-14 and have a conference win under their belt already after destroying Kentucky this past weekend. Florida sure looks good at the moment and I’m already salivating over their meeting with Tennessee in two weeks. However, let’s talk about Kentucky. After his fourth-year in Lexington, it’s pretty apparent that Mark Stoops isn’t getting the job done. After losing to Southern Mississippi last week, the Wildcats came out and got destroyed by the Gators this weekend. The alarm is officially being raised with Kentucky and Stoops’ seat has to be extremely warm at this point. Thankfully for him, he has New Mexico State and South Carolina coming into town the next two weeks and has a legit shot to get the Wildcats to 2-2 before having to travel to some place called Alabama. While no one expected the Kentucky Wildcats to be world-beaters this year, we still expected them to be better than they have been over the course of the first two weeks.


(20) Arkansas: 41          TCU: 38

Don’t look now, but the Arkansas Razorbacks are in the top 20 surprising everyone and beating TCU on the road in double overtime. After barely defeating Louisiana Tech in week one, Arkansas fans were hanging out on a cliff ledge and ready to jump. Then their team came out and squeaked out a win against a good TCU team and those potential cliff-jumpers turned back into beer-drinking cheerleaders. Are the Razorbacks for real or are they a fraud though? We are going to get a good feel for them when they travel to Arlington to play Texas A&M in what is now a massive SEC showdown in two weeks. I can’t wait for that one.


(21) Baylor: 40          SMU: 13

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(22) Ole Miss: 38          Wofford: 13

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(23) Oklahoma: 59          Louisiana-Monroe: 17

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(24) LSU: 34          Jacksonville State: 13

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(25) Boise State: 31          Washington State: 28

What the hell has happened to Washington State? At the beginning of the year, Wazzu was considered a wildcard to potentially win the PAC-12 North. There were all sorts of college football writers who were high on Mike Leach and his boys. However, after the first two weeks of the season, there perhaps has been no team that’s been a bigger disappointment than Washington State. After losing to Eastern Washington last week, the Cougars came out and once again “Coug’d” it against a Boise State that is good, but isn’t as talented on paper as the Cougars. While I’m not ready to hit the panic button in Pullman just yet, things are about to get extremely tough for Washington State. After what should be a cake walk against Idaho next week, the Cougs have to face Oregon, Stanford, UCLA, and Arizona State and face a real chance of going into Corvallis in week nine with a 1-6 record. Yikes.

And there we are! See you next week for week three where we hopefully get better match-ups.

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